The worst 30 minutes of my life

Literally, I don't think I have ever been more afraid, sad, mad, and terrified in a span of 30 minutes as I was last night. Craig went outside to tell Jonas and Carleigh it was time to come inside, only to discover that he couldn't find Carleigh, and none of the other kids knew where she was either. I half-calmly walked around the center of our apartment complex, calling her name and checking the pools and playground. All the kids who know Carleigh were helping too- about 15 of them. After I made the full circle and Craig had too, I was no longer calm and began to imagine the worst. After 20 minutes I called 911. I was mortified- the idea that I was on the phone with the police because my adorable blonde blue eyed daughter was lost...even writing that makes my stomache drop. They said an officer was on the way and to take my cell phone and keep looking. At one point, either going up some stairs on when I finally found her, my forehead touched the ground because I have a scrape there today. I remember praying for calmness, but I also think I literally hit my knees in relief when she calmly walked out of a friend's apartment.
Turns out she had seen a friend and ran to her apartment and started watching a movie with her. I know this girl vaguely, but didn't know what apartment she lived in. They hadn't heard us calling for Carleigh because the tv was up and the doors and windows were closed. Her mom had happened to open the door to put something outside when Craig rode by on his bike yelling for Carleigh. She said "She's in here," and out walked the angel herself. It was about this time I rounded the corner and the police car drove through the gate. The officer was nothing but compassionate and nice. She made sure I was who I said I was and left. Carleigh didn't understand why she couldn't stay and finish the movie, but I had to get home and breathe.
I was much more upset with myself than with Carleigh. She's 4~ what am I thinking letting her play outside with only 8 and 10 year olds to look out for her? That's not their job! It's mine, and I failed. Thank God she is okay and she and Jonas both understand now why I've always said not to go in anyone's house without me knowing about it (Jonas was visibly shaken by all of this, too). I don't plan to permanently attach her to my hip from now on, but I do plan to be much more careful.

Answered prayer

When I was pregnant with Jonas, I remember specifically praying that my child would be intelligent. Above average, I believe I asked.
Now what is it they say about being careful what you ask for? Yep- I agree.
Jonas' teacher e-mailed me yesterday afternoon to let me know he has been not listening and acting out more lately than any other time this year. I went to talk to her, because I want Jonas to know that this is not acceptable, no matter how close to the end of the school year we are. I also think it's important that he knows that I will put everything else on hold to address what he is going through, no matter what it is. Mrs. Kowis spoke to Jonas with me in the room and let him know that she expects more from hims because he's the oldest, the smartest (!!!), and a natural leader. That the kids will do whatever he does because they look up to him and think if it's ok for him to do it, then it is ok for them to do it. He seemed to understand and she asked him to leave the room while she and I talked.
She then told me she is amazed by Jonas' reasoning abilities and has never seen a kid advance in reading as fast as he has this year. She said she is glad he will be going to Gilmore next year, because he will have a better chance of being challenged the way he should be. Where he has been at the top of his class at Weber, she thinks he will be closer to average at Gilmore. In the meantime, she wants me to get him outside and running around as much as possible this summer. She also said she will be noting in his file that his next teacher should call her as soon as he is assigned so that she can warn him/her. Not sure how to take that comment...
I'm very happy that God gave Jonas a sharp brain- but I think I agree with Mrs. Kowis when it comes to his reasoning. He's going to have to accept a few things "just because" as he gets older or he is going to get in trouble. I don't want him to ever stop questioning, but I also pray that God will give me the strength to endure his endless streams of questions and that the teachers he has in the next 12 years will be as receptive as this first one has.
I love my son so much. Thank you God, for this crazy, funny, emotional, deep thinking, boy I get to have for a little while. Forgive me when I lose my patience with him. Thank you for leading him to You at such a young age.

Your mom does what???

What a great dinner we had last night! A family from The Springs came over and we had typical comfort foods- meatloaf, potatoes au gratin, corn on the cob, and brownies. YUM! But the best part was the conversation. Cameron talked previously on his blog about crossing the line between acquaintances and living life together, and we certainly crossed that line last night. Our kids were telling stories on us, while we told stories on our parents. Transparency was a word that was used, and I think I like that. We were real, and leave it to the kids to get that ball rolling! My only regret is that last night was the very first time we have intentionally had people to our apartment for a meal. We have lived here for 15 months- that's just wrong. Yes, we are in a small space, but it didn't bother anyone last night. The kids headed outside just as fast as they could anyway, which freed up lots of space!
Thank you, God, for creating us to be with other people. Thank you for our pastors who encourage us to do so, intentionally.

A plan much bigger than I could have dreamt of

Craig and I were talking about our move to the Bay Area last night and I began remembering details that I had not thought of in a while. And while it is fresh on my mind, I want to jot down as many of the amazing things that happened to bring us here. In case you didn't know, we were living in Arlington, Texas up until January of 2007.

• In September of 2006, Craig was fired from his job. I had been a stay-at-home mom for the 18 months prior to that, but immediately went back to work when this happened. I was able to get a job with the company for whom I had worked up until Carleigh's birth, Citi. I retained all my previous time in service and benefits!


• In October, Craig went in to business with another chiropractor and opened an office in Mansfield.


• In the summer of 2007, Craig wasn't bringing home much money at all. But because of a convicting story we had heard from another Christian, we committed to begin tithing regularly, no matter what.


• In September 2007, he took a second job unloading freight at Kohl's department store. We shared our struggle with our Home Group, and because of their generosity we never missed a single bill or meal.


• By October 2007, Craig's partner asked him to step out of the business because they couldn't support two doctors on the income they were bringing in, and Josh had bought in the majority of the expenses. We were heart broken. Owning his own clinic had been Craig's dream, and we thought God has smiled on our venture with a fellow Christian.


• At the end of October, we attended a Financial Peace University lecture our pastor was giving at Pantego Bible Church. I couldn't make it through a single lesson without crying. It was all very raw for me. At the end of one of the sessions, I left crying without talking to anyone around me. Our friend Will Walsh caught me outside and asked what was going on. I broke down and shared the anger I felt that Ron was preaching about the "overflowing" that would come from tithing, and here we were with Craig having no job. Ron wasn't preaching the prosperity "gospel" by any means, but he was saying only good could come from being faithful to God. I felt that the opposite was happening in our case, and I was so angry. Will didn't offer anything other than "That has to suck". He was sympathetic, and that was all I needed right then.


• During the next week, Craig sent out resumes to offices in DFW, the major metroplexes in Texas, and even in Nebraska where he is from. We heard from only 2 offices- one in Mesquite and one in Pearland. The one in Mesquite sounded perfect, and the Pearland one sounded ok. They both wanted to interview Craig on October 31st, so he scheduled the Mesquite interview for lunch time, and the Pearland interview for after 6:00 PM. We saw Will again on Sunday and updated him on the status of Craig's job search. During the conversation, we found out Will's uncle is the city manager of Pearland! Small world, right? Also, we mentioned that the Mesquite job sounded so good, we may not even bother making the drive to Houston- we didn't even have the gas money it would take to do so. After church, Will caught us again and handed us $100 for gas money and said "I don't think you should close any doors that God has opened. Let Him do that." Wise man, that William Walsh!


• I took the day off, we loaded up the kids, and we went to Mesquite. The kids and I drove around to kill time while Craig had his interview. When he came out he was excited, because the owner had practically said Craig could have the position and start as early as the next Monday. He would call Craig in the next few days to iron out the details. We sat in the car and again thought about not going to Houston. But I was reminded of Will's advice, so we headed south.


• It was Halloween and Craig went to his interview in Pearland while the kids and I trick-or-treated with Sara and John Sanders. They loved the idea of us moving to Houston, but I kept telling Sara how awesome the Mesquite job had sounded. I remember walking through her neighborhood that night, sweat dripping off my face because of the lovely Houston humidity, thinking "I don't think God would make us come here."


• Craig made it back from the interview and all he could say was "It seems great, too." Huh. Didn't expect that. Our drive back to Arlington the next day was spent talking about the pros and cons of both options, the entire time expecting the Mesquite office to call and seal the deal. Instead, halfway to Dallas, Craig's phone rings and it's the Pearland office. Can he start on Monday? Shocked, Craig said he'd have to call him the next day. We honestly thought we'd weigh the two offers and choose the better one.


• We get home that evening and there is a message from our Children's pastor, Keith Smith. He had hurt his back and was looking for Craig as a chiropractor. I called Keith back and let him know Craig was no longer in practice in DFW, but I would recommend someone for him. Keith asked why, and I explained we might be leaving the area for a small town outside Houston. Oh really, where? asks Keith. Pearland, I answer. Well, you know that is where we moved from last year, right? NO! We began a dialogue about the area, churches, schools, etc.


• By 5:00 the next day, no one had called from Mesquite. And Craig had called and left a message for them. The Pearland office wanted an answer by 6:00, so Craig went ahead and called and accepted. We assumed he could always call and back out if the Mesquite deal came through before Monday.


• Craig called and left no less than 5 messages for the Mesquite office over the next few days. But on Sunday, with no contact with them and a paying job waiting in Pearland, Craig loaded up his truck and drove to the Sanders' house. He would stay with them and drive the 40+ miles to Pearland each day.


• I was in school and working full time, and my parents were worried about me having the kids by myself while I finished up the semester, so by the end of Monday, my mom was at my house ready to take my kids home with her for the next 5 weeks.


• That next week was a blur. I got the house ready and listed on the market with a realtor friend who was from church. We listed it above the price our realtor recommended because I had dreamt of a certain number and felt convinced that was what we needed to ask. We sent out a mass e-mail to everyone we know in Texas asking if anyone knew of anyone who lived in Pearland and might be willing to put Craig up until January. We had no extra money, and we hinted that the cheaper the better, and free would be best. The 80+ miles a day on Craig's truck was expensive and long!


• In the conversations with Keith Smith about Pearland, he had mentioned a church he knew of in the area, but had not been to himself, called Gateway Community Church. Craig and I prayed that we could find a church similar to our beloved Pantego Bible Church- focused on people and community more than the church building and programs. I sent an e-mail to the pastor of Gateway, Randy, because I saw their website listed the same 30 Core Competencies that Pantego used, and they had a study guide that looked like the Scrolls we had used. I mentioned we were coming from PBC and we wanted something like it. Randy wrote back and said he would love to have us there, but really wanted to introduce us to two men on his staff that would be starting a new church based on PBC- Brad Gartman and Cameron Simmons.


• The time frame of the next few things is blurry, but isn't as important as the fact that they happened at all! We were connected to the aunt of a family friend who lived alone in Friendswood, and had a room Craig could use, for free! Julie let a man she had never met before live with her in her town home based solely on the character reference of her nephew's wife. Ashley and I grew up together, as did our fathers, so I think that is saying a lot for how Julie feels about her nephew, Andy, and his wife Ashley. What an amazing blessing! Craig was able to reduce his commute to less than 5 miles each way and stay in a safe, very comfortable home, for only his share of the utilities for a little over 7 weeks.
• Somewhere in that time, Cameron and Brad met Craig for lunch. We discovered that Brad had been on staff at Pantego! They laid out the plan they had for the Church at the Springs and before lunch was over Craig told them to count us in. I'm not sure how much more God could have answered that prayer!
• Nine days after we listed our house for sale, we got an offer. Vickie, our realtor, sat me down and showed me the details. It was 6k lower than our asking price. You could see Vickie's expression say "I told you so". So I told her that we had to counter with our original asking price, and we'd throw in the play scape in the backyard. She said "they won't accept this, but I'll do it just to show you. We'll come down next time." Three hours later she called me and started the conversation with "I owe you an apology." They had accepted the counter offer! This was a family in California, and they hadn't even stepped foot in our house. They saw the pictures on-line and sent their realtor to look at it. It was exactly what they wanted. AND they wanted to close the weekend before the next semester started at UNT. We couldn't have asked for a better closing date!
• I asked Cyndi and Clint Rains if I could stay with them during the Spring semester. I was slightly hurt when they said no. I really thought that would be the best case scenario. I then contacted friends who live in Denton, Greg and Sarah Kemper, and point blank asked if I could stay with them until I finished school in May. They have a huge house and have been good friends to us. They said yes, and only asked me to pay my share of utilities! Amazing!
• Craig secured an apartment for him and the kids and we planned to close on our house, load the U-Haul, and move in to our apartment in Friendswood the same weekend. Other than a couple of snags, we made it. I helped move Craig, Jonas and Carleigh in to an apartment on my 33rd birthday. The next day I drove back to Denton to start my last semester of school.
• While I glossed over it, it is no small feat that my husband didn't even hesitate when he found out he would have to be a full-time daddy in order for me to finish my master's degree. NOT ONCE did he indicate or hint that it would be too much for him to handle. So for the next four months, I saw my family every other weekend and worked and went to school in between visits.
• I was still employed with Citi in Irving, and wasn't sure what I should do about getting a job in Houston. I enrolled in the alternative certification program for Clear Creek ISD, and naively marched in to a job fair that April. Me and 2500 other applicants. Talk about God slamming a door shut! I was so overwhelmed and quickly realized that I was not in the right place that I left less than 30 minutes after showing up. I left my resume, but not surprisingly never heard from them.
• I approached my boss and asked if she thought I could keep my job and work remotely full time from home in Houston. She said she would take it to the powers that made such decisions, and I would know before I planned to move in May. God taught me a big lesson in patience on that one, as it was the last day I planned to work in Irving before I found out that my request was approved!

I know I'm missing other little things along the way. And I know I spent way too much time on this entry. But I don't ever want to forget the miracle(s) God worked in our lives in the past two years. I want someplace to come back to and see the faithfullness of God, especially when I think He isn't. And maybe someone else will read this and be encouraged, inspired, or blessed.

I love my husband

In case I haven't publicly said that lately, it's time for a reminder. I LOVE MY HUSBAND! And I love seeing what God is doing in his life. I had a bit of (possibly) bad news this morning when I found out that HR has approached a co-worker about her salary requirements for the job I was hoping to get. Punch to the gut, let me tell you. This doesn't mean it's off the table, but HR hasn't called me. Which leads me to believe the job will be offered to her. My ego is bruised. But Craig simply held me as I cried a little (no sobbing, I promise) and started praying for me. He thanked God for me, and asked that God would give me to peace that comes with knowing He is in control, and closed doors are God's way of showing us the open ones.

Wow. And I have felt that peace. God is faithful! I have found joy, JOY even in the fact that I have a current job that is already filled with unbelievable perks. And I've even felt a tinge of excitement at what the future holds, if not that promotion.

Thank you God, for Craig. Thank you for his words at exactly the right time. Thank you for making him point me to You. I am truly blessed.